Failures and Successes

Friday was a good day.  I skyped with family! I got to speak with three generations of my family, which is always a treat.  While talking on skype, I multitasked by making some chocolate chip cookies.  In the end, I told Aunt J and M that it was good we weren't using video.  They couldn't see how much of the dough I was eating!

My first batch did not meet my expectations.  I am not used to Karen's stove, and I think I turned it up higher than I should have.  I used the right amount of flour according the recipe, but the wrong amount according to the cookies!  They turned out rather...flat and crispy.

Aunt J told me she wanted to see them featured on my blog.  I jokingly told her that I only blog about my successes.  You know, I meant it as a joke, but then I realized, it's true.  We all tend to only share our successes and never our failures.  We learn from our failures, though.  My aunt, the cookie maker extraordinaire, suggested more flour and the next batch turned out just as I like it, soft and chewy.  The others are edible, and actually Laura likes them crispy (or so she says!).  

My father and Leslie both try to remind that failure isn't the end of the world, as I often see it.  It truly is a learning experience.  I know that.  But I don't like it.  I'm slowly growing to accept that sometimes, more often than I like, I will not "get it right."  Being the lover of words that I am, I started reading different quotes about failure.  Here are some of my favorites:

There is no failure except in no longer trying.  ~Elbert Hubbard

Failure doesn't mean you are a failure... it just means you haven't succeeded yet.  ~Robert Schuller

Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.  ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

You can't have any successes unless you can accept failure.  ~George Cukor

There is no failure.  Only feedback.  ~Robert Allen

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.  ~Winston Churchill

It is wise to keep in mind that no success or failure is necessarily final.  ~Author Unknown

Then I read a comment that made me smile.  "Success and failure.  We think of them as opposites, but they're really not.  They're companions - the hero and the sidekick."  ~Laurence Shames

Here is the lesson that I struggle to learn.  It is a bit contradictory, my frustration with failure.  As my family can tell you, I dislike things being easy.  I don't mind "the hard way," and sometimes, I think I make things a little harder for myself than necessary!  (It does keep life more interesting.)  

The next thought might not be connected (or only in my mind) but I started thinking that maybe I should think of this as climbing.  I love the granite mountains in Zim.  I can remember going on hikes to take friends to see cave paintings or to have a picnic.  Climbing Mt. Nyangani was even more of a challenge.  Please understand, I love the view from the top of a mountain.  There is something beautiful of sitting down, catching your breath, and enjoying the magnificent view of the world around from a higher perspective.  But after a little while, I get bored. I want to walk around, explore, take pictures.  

I think this is why I like the more challenging successes.  If you were able to just snap your fingers and appear on the top of mountain whenever you liked, the view wouldn't seem quite so impressive.  The experience wouldn't be as unique.  And you would have missed a part of the experience.  The hike itself.  The laughter with your companions.  Or maybe the silence. The gradually changing perspective.  The thrill of pushing your body to do something out of the ordinary.  The point of reaching the top and just appreciating that your body is standing still, that your lungs feel like they are finally getting enough air, that your heart can finally return to normal.

I read a book a few months ago entitled Kissing Kilimanjaro.  It is a fairly lighthearted story of a man who decided to climb Kilimanjaro, mostly because his girlfriend thought it would be cool!  Sorry to spoil it for you if you want to read it, but he didn't make it to the peak.  However, quite a few years later, he went back.  He did it the second time.  Reading his description of the physical pain made me wonder why he would try it again!  But I really respect his perseverance.  And his situation applies to this whole ramble about successes and failures.  He didn't reach the peak the first time.  But he learned so much about what was needed for the journey.  He learned his weaknesses. He learned the challenges.  And they made his success possible.  I'm sure the same is true in many of the less dramatic situations we face in our lives.  

And all of this started with a batch of twelve crispy chocolate chip cookies :)